Friendship Is Unconditional Love

When we think of unconditional love, or true love, we tend to think in terms of romance or parenting. But true friendship also requires true love in order to flourish. Unconditional love is love given without condition, without restriction, and without the expectation of anything in return. Wouldn't you like to find friends who love and accept you no matter what?

Granted, true love is not that common. True love, or unconditional love, is freedom. Freedom to be who you are, whether you are the one loving or the loved one. In relationships built on unconditional love, the parties are free to be themselves. Whether at their best or much less than their best, people in an unconditionally loving relationship know they are loved.

True Friendship

Freedom is also a critical component of true friendship. A true friend overlooks episodes of poor judgment or behavior in favor of the perspective of the entire person.

Best selling author Anne Perry, in her World War I novel No Graves as Yet, captures this aspect of friendship in the words of her main character, Joseph. Reflecting on friendship with his deceased student, Joseph says, "I saw him as I wanted him to be, and I loved him for that. If I were less selfish, I would have loved him for what he was. Perhaps you can destroy people by refusing to see their reality, offering love only on your own terms, which is that they be what you need them to be--for yourself, not for them."

Offering love only on terms may not destroy an individual, but it can certainly destroy a relationship.

The Secret of Amazing Friendships

Amazing friendships get you through the rough times. These are the people with whom you share your joys, confide your fears and even shed a few tears. Some people seem to build them easily and naturally while other struggle. The reason is that building great friendships requires that you be a good friend.

In Southern California, there isn’t a spot of land to build on, yet half the population is popping Prozac. Why? Because they haven’t learned the secret. Not the law of attraction “secret” but the secret that if you open yourself up to others they will fill your emptiness, and you theirs. It really is that simple.

You see, you were never meant to be alone. You were meant to find connection, to reach out to others. Pride, past hurts and a host of other negative emotions and reactions often get in the way, but you need connection to others. You need strong, loving relationships.

Robert Bly said, "The beginning of love is the horror of emptiness." Unfortunately, you don’t have to go far to find lonely people. There are over seven billion people in the world, most of which are incredibly lonely.

Be a Real Friend

Getting to know someone simply because they are the "right" person to know is no way to begin a friendship. Make a sincere effort to get to know people and find the people with whom you connect. The best friendships are the most sincere.